"And I thought -- when you're a half-hour late, and your friends think you're in jail, it's probably a sign you steal too much."

You suck, but I'm here to help.

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Upon deciding to write this blog post I decided that it was best if I split the post up into three sections. The sections are as follows: The beginning, Average poster, You suck, but I can help.

The Beginning

So basically if you are reading this then you are seeking my help. You admit as a person, you are a pretty shitty human being. You aren't very clever nor are you humorous in anyway possible. Your family thinks you should run away to a 3rd world country, and get a job making Nikes for the rest of the productive world.

Now, I love wearing Nikes on my feet that I know was created with cheap labor just like that next guy... don't get me wrong. I guess thats not the point of the topic...?

Anyway, you are about to embark on a journey of self improvement with your own personal role model. Since I have agreed to be your role model because I pity your existence you should heed my advice. Lets move on to the next topic

So, Your an awesome Average/Not so Average poster.

Don't worry average poster! Everyone will accept you for being the guy/girl that has a mediocre job but likes to spend massive amounts of time on the forums. You will do well here taking out all your life frustrations on faceless community members. Remember, you can say anything on the internet and not have to face the consequences. You know and obey this unwritten rule. In fact you will thrive in this environment because you know that it will pay off being spineless. Continue to do this and you will be the life of the forum! Great success!

Help I suck. What can I do?

Well this is true. You do suck, but admitting it is just the first step. This guide will help you become a better poster, but it wont work wonders. One must remember to use this as a guide to develop ones own posting style. "But 'DO' I'm a huge faggot!!!" Again, this is true you are a huge faggot, but you must adhere to the basic four rules:

  1. Create a username that stands out (Pink_Kitty, Or if you want to wow people Pink_Neko etc..)
  3. Talk about your collection of movie posters and always include a picture
  4. Never log off the forums. Stay logged in so everyone knows how hardcore you are.

If you follow these four rules you will fit in well. You might even do so well that you could even bump yourself up to being an average poster who has no real thoughts or ideas. You will just rephrase other topics and topic ideas that were already done to gain the confidence of your peers.

Congrats! You have made it.


  1. dragonrage's Avatar
    I sense a lot of personal experience in this blog. Pour your heart out DO, you'll feel better later.
  2. Animeniax's Avatar
    Did you write this up yourself or copy/paste from some rant site/wikipedia? It's pretty generic stuff.
  3. DO's Avatar
    Came from the mind. Took about 10 minutes.